I taught my nephew how to hug yesterday. He wasn’t into it before and now he is into it. He is now hugging everything he can find. He says “awwww…” and hugs my foot. He says “awwww…” and hugs his stuffed kitten doll. He says “awwww…” and hugs the baby gate that keep him from the kitchen. He says “awwww…” and hugs the television when he sees a commercial for car insurance. I want to take him outside and let him hug a tree, or a car, or a mountain, or just everything. Fuck. I’m jealous of him now. I’ve never even thought about hugging half of the things he is hugging at 15 months old. He’s probably going to hug a bulldozer. He’s probably going to hug an ocean. Fuck. I hope he doesn’t forget me. I hope he remembers me one day when he is hugging the last 12 black rhinos on Earth. Fuck. I hate kids because they make me so happy.