Dear No, Not Today,
No, I am certain we are next door neighbors. We must be. I hear you through the walls. Who is inside of your apartment with you? I can hear so many sounds from unexpected organs breathing and bleeding. I hear you both through the walls. Or is it just you, doubled into another person? Or is it just you, creating another person? I know you love them whoever they are. That I can hear too.
No, I am certain you are making pictures in my head. As funny as that sounds. As simple as that sounds. I am certain the pictures you make in my head are the pictures you make in the world. I have nothing but your sounds to go on, but they are accurate sounds of pictures in creation. Is there a place where I too can buy all of this beauty? Is this something sold in cartons or do you and you alone have the recipe?
What is your definition of ‘a pinch’ and ‘a dash’? Everyone has different sized fingers so their version of ‘a pinch’ and ‘a dash’ is different. I want this recipe to turn out perfect to match the certain pictures you have put in my head. Tell me about your fingers, No. Put them against the wall to my apartment so I can hear them, No.
No, I am certain that you have built an apartment style lab within my head now. Yes, I hear you inside of there. Yes, this is certain. I am glad you tell me the days of the week. Are there days in between? Do those even matter anymore? I like the days of the week. This is known probably. Maybe everyone likes that days have names. You impress them all though, even the seasons. You impress me with your names for days. I am glad the universe is unregulated. No, you remind me of this every day that is within you. Every day.
No, I am certain that I have been quiet as I have listened to your phone calls from the mud. How did you get mud in this apartment sized lab inside of my head? It doesn’t matter. It is special. Thank you. No, what I want you to know is this: I hope I was quiet enough for you to wreck all of my ideas about what ‘inconsolable’ means. How has the world gone on so long in this state? How many pinches and dashes will it take? I heard you tell the answer to whoever you are in your apartment with. I did not know what language you used, but recognized it as a language. This I am certain. Or it was yourself who you are building inside of yourself and I am listening to you like a neighbor will listen when they see a neighbor with their mattress outside attempting to sleep on every beautiful thing in the neighborhood?